Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Dad of the Year Candidate?
So I had a student do a piss poor job on a presentation today, so I called him out on it via email and cc'd mom and dad (dick move?). Dad responded to son and cc'd me as well. Can't make this stuff up....
Son,
You will sit down with me and your mother and present this assignment to us. No excuses , it will be done this Saturday. There are places to be funny and places not to be so I want to see exactly why it was so important for you to do this. There is NEVER a place to be disrespectful and I believe an apology is in order to your teacher. So you want to be lazy and funny is my understanding. Don’t worry, I’ll still love you. I however won’t lend you money when you’re working at McDonalds because no one will give you a job. Maybe you can tell your friends a joke when you serve them their chicken Mcnuggets as they drive off in their Mustangs they earned by applying themselves in school. I’m tired of punishing you. I’m just disappointed in all the love and time your mother and I are wasting on your potential. You’re incredibly smart but also incredibly lazy. If that’s what you want to be in life, just tell us. Your mother and I can take all this money we’re wasting on you and take that vacation to Europe we’ve always wanted but can’t since we’re trying to be good parents and prepare you for life. If your choice of a job is a lazy comedian then eventually it will be your choice. We can’t make you be a doctor or an engineer. You will always be smart. However, it looks like you’re going to be poor also. Maybe uncle Greg can sell you a cheap trailer. I’ll tell him to save you one that only has a few rats. You think I’m being funny…….I’ll bring you one day and show you what life gives to funny , lazy DISRESPECTFUL people.
May I take your order,
Dad
Son,
You will sit down with me and your mother and present this assignment to us. No excuses , it will be done this Saturday. There are places to be funny and places not to be so I want to see exactly why it was so important for you to do this. There is NEVER a place to be disrespectful and I believe an apology is in order to your teacher. So you want to be lazy and funny is my understanding. Don’t worry, I’ll still love you. I however won’t lend you money when you’re working at McDonalds because no one will give you a job. Maybe you can tell your friends a joke when you serve them their chicken Mcnuggets as they drive off in their Mustangs they earned by applying themselves in school. I’m tired of punishing you. I’m just disappointed in all the love and time your mother and I are wasting on your potential. You’re incredibly smart but also incredibly lazy. If that’s what you want to be in life, just tell us. Your mother and I can take all this money we’re wasting on you and take that vacation to Europe we’ve always wanted but can’t since we’re trying to be good parents and prepare you for life. If your choice of a job is a lazy comedian then eventually it will be your choice. We can’t make you be a doctor or an engineer. You will always be smart. However, it looks like you’re going to be poor also. Maybe uncle Greg can sell you a cheap trailer. I’ll tell him to save you one that only has a few rats. You think I’m being funny…….I’ll bring you one day and show you what life gives to funny , lazy DISRESPECTFUL people.
May I take your order,
Dad
Friday, February 3, 2012
WOM8: Meal Post, etc...
Dear Men,
Three weeks from this day, the high and holy gathering of men will once again descend upon the Tennessee River. I, for one, am most looking forward to reading Adam's step-grandmother-in-law's letter of rules for this year. Maybe we will be forbidden from using the indoor plumbing. All kidding aside, we need to thank Adam once again for procuring our fine lodging. As I understand it, grandma was close to giving us the axe this year for some unknown offense, but Adam was able to talk some sense into her--Manlympic points will be awarded.
I'll finish this up rapid fire:
1. Bring money for flowers for grandma.
2. Adam and I will be driving down on Thursday night for a pre-WOM warm-up. Last year, Adam, Brandon, and I enjoyed breakfast at Loretta Lynn's Country Kitchen (enjoyed might be too strong a word) on Friday morning, drove around for hours looking for a Wal-Mart, and had a nice relaxing dinner at the the Log Cabin that night. It provided for a nice, relaxing and lubricated entrance to the weekend. Adam and I will be repeating the very same narrative that you just read about again this year and will open up the opportunity to any who might want to experience Loretta Lynn's hot muffins--Hey, now! Who's coming with us?
3. I think the only person I haven't heard from is Ross. I e-mailed him, but have not received a reply. Can you guys follow-up with him? Aaron, you're coming right? I'm going to assume 8 of us, and pray for 9. I looked at last year's meal post and rolled everyone forward a meal, as best I could. Meals will be as follows:
A. Saturday Breakfast--Seth, Brandon and Justin
B. Saturday Dinner--Adam, Andrew, Kevin
C. Sunday Breakfast--Aaron, Ross and Landon
If we have to make adjustments later, we can. In fact, just so we have it on paper--ROLL CALL!
Three weeks from this day, the high and holy gathering of men will once again descend upon the Tennessee River. I, for one, am most looking forward to reading Adam's step-grandmother-in-law's letter of rules for this year. Maybe we will be forbidden from using the indoor plumbing. All kidding aside, we need to thank Adam once again for procuring our fine lodging. As I understand it, grandma was close to giving us the axe this year for some unknown offense, but Adam was able to talk some sense into her--Manlympic points will be awarded.
I'll finish this up rapid fire:
1. Bring money for flowers for grandma.
2. Adam and I will be driving down on Thursday night for a pre-WOM warm-up. Last year, Adam, Brandon, and I enjoyed breakfast at Loretta Lynn's Country Kitchen (enjoyed might be too strong a word) on Friday morning, drove around for hours looking for a Wal-Mart, and had a nice relaxing dinner at the the Log Cabin that night. It provided for a nice, relaxing and lubricated entrance to the weekend. Adam and I will be repeating the very same narrative that you just read about again this year and will open up the opportunity to any who might want to experience Loretta Lynn's hot muffins--Hey, now! Who's coming with us?
3. I think the only person I haven't heard from is Ross. I e-mailed him, but have not received a reply. Can you guys follow-up with him? Aaron, you're coming right? I'm going to assume 8 of us, and pray for 9. I looked at last year's meal post and rolled everyone forward a meal, as best I could. Meals will be as follows:
A. Saturday Breakfast--Seth, Brandon and Justin
B. Saturday Dinner--Adam, Andrew, Kevin
C. Sunday Breakfast--Aaron, Ross and Landon
If we have to make adjustments later, we can. In fact, just so we have it on paper--ROLL CALL!
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