Give Me Liberty or Leave Me the Hell Alone!

We got out of school today because of the forecast for some rain...I love being a teacher! So I have some extra time on my hands and will now post something that has been on my mind lately.


The second ammendment to our Constitution reads, "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." Amen! I'm glad that our forefathers had the foresight to put this into the document that outlines our entire government, because IT TAKES A FREAKIN' ACT OF CONGRESS TO GET YOUR LICENSE TO CARRY A HANDGUN!!! If men like Patrick Henry, Nathan Hale, or George Washington knew what we have to go through today to get a handgun carry permit, I swear, they would move to Canada. I will now outline what one has to do to legally carry a firearm.

1. Pay $55 dollars to sit through an 8 hour class about handgun safety. Useful pieces of information learned here: a) Don't look down the barrel of the gun to see if it's loaded; b) If you in fact ever have to use your firearm to protect yourself or your family, prepare to be sued by the jerk's family that you shoot.

2. Pass a target shooting test. This test consists of a paper target in the shape of a man about 10 feet from you. A drunk donkey could pass this test, so I don't know what the point of it is.

3. Take certificate of completion to Department of Motor Vehicles. What the DMV has to do with my 2nd ammendment right, I don't know.

4. Wait in line behind a bunch of 15 year olds trying to take their driving permit test. Finally get called to the desk...
Lady: How can I help you?
Me: Yes, I would like to apply for my handgun carry permit. Here is my certificate of safety course completion.
Lady: Do you have your birth certificate?
Me: For what?
Lady: To prove that you were born.
Me: Do you see me standing here?
Lady: Yes, but we need your birth certificate. (Bear in mind that to get a driver's license, you have to show your birth certificate and I am standing in the place where I obtained said driver's license, but I let that little nugget of information go.)
Me: I'll be right back.

5. Drive home to get my birth certificate.

6. Drive back to DMV and wait behind even more 15 year olds.

7. Finally get back up to the lady who takes my certificate of completion, driver's license, and birth certificate. Ok, fill out this application.

8. Fill out application and then pay...get this...$115 (again for what, I don't know)

9. Receive receipt of payment and a piece of paper instructing me about all the steps I need to go through to get fingerprinted.

10. Call fingerprint place to set up appointment. As it turns out, the fingerprint place for this area is at the Sumner County Board of Education. Yes, the same place I had to be fingerprinted in order to become a teacher. (I hope you are seeing the redundancy here)

11. Get fingerprinted and then find out that I have to wait 6-8 weeks for my permit to be mailed to me. 6-8 weeks!!!!! Hello.

Well, anyway, that's about it. Now I see why so many criminals just get guns from back alley pawn shops. All that to say, I won't have a handgun carry permit for Man's Weekend, but still plan on packing all the heat I can muster. They can have my guns when they pry them out of my cold, dead hands.